


The contest

by sonicinthestone



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicinthestone/pseuds/sonicinthestone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin enters a talent contest in a desperate last attempt to make it as a musician. Arthur pendragon is world famous actor, singer and record label owner who happens to be one of the judges.<br/>Playlist of music mentioned in fic: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMzfA7LffcTesx8xnfBlACzHdxnEpoY9g</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin stood nervously in the wings of the stage, his hands shaking wildly. He checked his phone; ‘Good luck you twat.’ he read. Will had texted him, he smiled. On principle Merlin hated reality TV shows and had sworn he would never enter one, but things were different now. He needed money and this was the only way he could get it. Will was even more opposed to it, but he was Merlin’s best and only mate and supported him no matter what. Merlin fiddled with his guitar strap as he waited, a makeup lady walked towards him and dusted his face with powder, technical crew messed with his guitar and various other people told him things and checked things until finally a runner told him it was his turn to go on stage.

  
He walked out, deliberately not looking at the audience or the row of judges but at the floor. He sat on the stool and arranged the microphone to the right height, breathed in deeply and started to sing. He’d been told since he was in his early teenage years that he had a surprisingly high singing voice for a boy but it had never put him off. In fact the song was by Laura marling, ‘Rambling man’- it was one of his favourite songs though he had avoided anything that had too much emotional meaning to him as he really didn’t want to cry on stage. Only when he was halfway through did her dare to look up from his guitar, three of the judges were whispering to themselves and glancing at him occasionally but one of them was staring straight at him. Merlin looked back at his guitar and when he looked up a while later he was still staring. When Merlin had finished singing he recognised him as Arthur Pendragon, singer, film star and owner of one of the biggest record labels in the country, who was staring, unashamedly, right at him.

  
‘What’s your name, son?’ The older male judged asked him; Merlin turned away from Arthur and answered him. The other judges gave him their comments, all of which were very positive. Arthur was last.  
‘How long have you been playing?’  
‘I, erm, started singing and playing when I was about 13 but I’ve been, at least attempting to be, a musician for 3 years.’ Arthur nodded.  
‘You can sing very well.’ And that was all Arthur said. He never really took his eyes off Merlin, not while the other judges tried to convince Merlin to pick their teams or while Merlin was deliberating. The only time his emotion wavered was when Merlin picked.  
‘I’d like to join Gwen’s team.’ Arthur looked like he had been physically punched. As Merlin shook the hands and hugged each of the judges Arthur stood at the end of the row waiting.  
‘You didn’t pick me?’ Arthur said as he embraced Merlin.  
‘Why should I have?’ Merlin replied and then walked away.

  
Arthur stared at the place where Merlin had stood; it was a long time since he hadn’t got something he wanted, he was fussy and if he said he wanted someone they generally picked him. Merlin had just, ignored him. But that wasn’t what was hanging on his mind the most, Merlin’s voice repeated in his head again and again. His singing was angelic, but there was something else, something Arthur didn’t want to feel. Every time he looked at Merlin, whether it was a video of him singing on YouTube or passing him at a rehearsal his heart fluttered and if Merlin said good morning to him he could never quite get his words out. Arthur kept telling himself this wasn’t happening, that he wasn’t falling for someone, that he wasn’t falling for a man. Arthur had never liked girls, though he had only kissed one man in his life and even that had ended in disaster- they had had a reasonably long standing relationship until the media got a picture of them kissing and the guy ran away. Since then he had been involved in several cover-up relationships, framing him and some famous lady as a couple to cover up the picture from his youth. But no cover-ups could stop how he felt whenever Merlin walked past.

  
Merlin was far too busy to worry about Arthur’s strange behaviour, he had rehearsals and the media snagging at his heels and relatives he had never heard of to talk to and Gwen was a very strict coach. Outside of being a coach however she was very, very lovely. It comforted Merlin that he had a coach who genuinely cared about him and asked him how his day had been and helped him when the newspapers were writing horrible things about him. He had become more accustomed to performing; even so he was nervous for the first live show.

  
‘Five minutes, I repeat five minutes.’ A voice said through his earpiece. The first performance wouldn’t be too bad, all of the contestants were singing together and he’d be able to blend in. It was the solo he was dreading.  
‘Hello everyone and welcome to _Talent_ now to start us off we have our wonderful contestants performing 5 years time for us, let’s have a round of applause for them.’  
The group performance went pretty well and Merlin left the stage feeling pretty happy.

  
‘Excuse me I’m sorry Mr. Emrys there is a phone call for you.’ Merlin stared at the runner then took the phone.  
‘Hello.’ Merlin asked confused, they never let them take personal calls during show filming.  
‘Hi Merlin, it’s me.’  
‘Mum what’s wrong?’ Merlin asked sensing the sadness in her voice.  
‘It’s Will. I’m so sorry love, but, he’s dead.’ Merlin didn’t speak for a long time.  
‘What happened?’ He said finally.  
‘Car accident, he skidded on some ice and hit another car. The doctors said it was almost instant.’  
‘I have to go mum.’ Merlin said quietly. He wondered how instantaneous it really was, nothing can truly be that quick he thought. And for a while he didn’t even cry he just sat, in stunned shocked silence. Then the tears started and then did not stop his throat and eyes hurt from the sobbing and his T-Shirt was soaked. Then a voice called through the door.

  
‘You’re on in ten.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long! I've had exams and so has my beta but I'm back now and another chapter should be up soon ish. Hope you enjoy this.

‘Fuck.’ Merlin said. ‘Shit, shit fucking fuck shit.’ He opened the door and told a runner to go get Gwen, that it was an emergency. The runner looked terrified at Merlin's ferocity and scampered off.

  
‘What’s wrong?’ A voice said through the door. It wasn’t Gwen.

‘Where is Gwen?’

‘She’s performing, remember?’ Arthur said. Arthur; Merlin really did not want to see Arthur right now, but he opened the door anyway.

‘Oh.’ Merlin replied.

‘Look, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick, but I’m still a human being and a vocal coach.’

‘Yeah but this, this isn’t singing.’ Merlin said and then he started to cry despite his attempts not to. Arthur sat down next to him on the sofa in the room.

‘Hey mate what’s happened?’ Arthur patted him awkwardly on the arm.

‘My best friend,’ Merlin paused and took a shuddering breath, ‘my only friend is dead.’

‘Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t.’ Arthur sighed and put his arm around Merlin’s shoulder; Merlin turned his face towards Arthur’s chest and cried into his jumper. It was strange but it felt right somehow. ‘Look if we tell the producer, you won’t have to perform. You’ll have to go into the knock outs next week but you’ll get through it. You’re good.’

‘No I have to perform. I have to. I have to get this you don’t understand. My mother is sick, really sick and in America and she has no money and I have no qualifications ‘cause I was selfish and thought I could just sing and everything would be okay. I can’t lose this. I can’t.’

‘Merlin come on, you can’t perform when you’re like this.’ Arthur was panicking now, he didn’t know what to say- he felt selfish for volunteering to come when someone else who knew what to do could have been there.

‘No I’m doing it. I’m going now. Come on.’ Merlin stood up, wiped the tears from his face and marched from the room. Arthur sat speechless in his wake.  
Merlin’s performance wasn’t terrible, he was just about in tune, but it was mediocre at best. The other judges seemed confused at the quality of his performance- Arthur had had no time to explain the circumstances and Merlin’s rendition of 'Use somebody' was not up to his usual standards. He was left backstage knowing that he was out of it, no one would have voted for him and none of the judges would support him after that. The rest of the night dragged slowly, the results show was as he expected and he was just glad he didn’t have to perform again like some TV shows.

  
‘Now judges,’ the presenter said, after announcing the contestants in the knockouts, ‘you have the opportunity to take one of these contestants onto your own teams. Bear in mind that you can only do this once in the series and there is no guarantee they will make it through next week.’ The lights went down, and intense music started to play. Time seemed not to move as Merlin stood there, he had given up hope by now, he just wanted it to be over. Then came the sound of a judge’s button being pressed and a voice.

 

‘I would like to take Merlin onto my team.’ Merlin looked up. Arthur was smiling faintly at him from his chair. The other judges looked at Arthur with shocked expressions.

‘Well,’ said the presenter, ‘in an astounding turn of events, Merlin, congratulations you’re through.’ Merlin stared, open mouthed at Arthur.

‘I, erm, I don’t. I don’t know what to say. Thank you I guess. Wow.’ Arthur just smiled and nodded. Merlin walked off stage still not quite believing what had just happened.  
   
‘Merlin?’ Gwen said through his dressing room door a while later.

‘Hi.’ He replied.

‘Arthur told me about what happened; well he told me some of it at least. I’m sorry Merlin.’ Gwen looked worried about him, her eyes full of concern.

‘I’m sorry I fucked up.’ Merlin responded sucking in the tears. Gwen pulled a sympathetic face and pulled him into a hug.

‘Don’t be stupid Merlin, we all fuck up sometimes. Now I better go. Arthur wants to see you.’

‘I don’t get it. Why did he do that?’

‘Because once you get under all the armour he’s built around himself he’s a nice guy. ‘Gwen said.

‘Yeah. Well, you dated him, so you’d know.’ As Merlin spoke Gwen’s face changed for a split second.

‘Oh yes, I guess I did.’ Gwen said then awkwardly shuffled out of the room. Merlin was confused: her reaction wasn’t one of someone who’d had a messy breakup but of someone who had forgotten about something completely. Before Merlin could work out what was going on Arthur came in.

‘Hi.’ He said. Merlin stared at the floor.

‘Hi.’ Merlin replied.

‘Can I sit down?’

‘Yeah, sure.’ Merlin shuffled up on the sofa to make room. ‘Thanks for this by the way.’

‘You understood why I did it, right?’

‘Cause you felt sorry for me?’  Merlin suggested miserably.

‘No, well a little bit, but mainly because I couldn’t stand to see talent like you slip through my fingers.’ Merlin laughed. ‘I’m serious.’ Arthur said.

‘So why didn’t you just sign me once I’d gone out? You want to win. It’s all about your image isn’t it?’ Merlin wasn’t sure why he was being so harsh, Arthur had been really nice to him, but part of him felt extremely bitter and he didn’t know why.

‘I’m not allowed Merlin. I can’t sign you for my own label unless you get to the semi final, its part of my contract.’ Arthur said quietly.

‘Oh.’ Merlin said. He looked at Arthur properly: a bright white toothed smile looked back at him; Arthur had a striking face framed by blonde hair. Merlin found his eyes drifting down to Arthur’s chest and tight stomach which was visible through his thin white t-shirt. Arthur coughed and Merlin blushed.

‘Sorry.’

Arthur smiled at him. ‘Right, I erm, when is the funeral?’ Arthur felt insensitive but didn’t know what else to say.

‘Two weeks tomorrow.’ Merlin replied, he’d called his mum after getting off stage.

‘You can have tomorrow off but I want you in the studio first thing Monday morning okay?’ Merlin nodded. ‘Oh and let me put your number in my phone.’ Arthur added. They swapped numbers and then Arthur left, Merlin following not long after, throwing himself into a cab to his newly rented flat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. School has been a bit crazy but I should be back to regular updates now.

Monday morning came too quickly for Merlin’s liking; he was unprepared and still a bit of a wreck after Will’s death. The cab ride seemed to take an age and yet with each road Merlin wanted more and more to get out of the cab and run. He was terrified that Arthur was going to tell him he wasn’t good enough, that he shouldn’t have saved him, that Merlin shouldn't have let his emotions take over. Then the cab stopped and Merlin got out.

The studio was small but well equipped, filled with things Merlin would have no idea what to do with. Arthur was in a rehearsal room on the top floor. Each floor was only one small room wide and Merlin felt very enclosed as he walked in.

‘Hi.’ He said awkwardly to Arthur’s back.  
‘Hello, how are you?’  
‘You know, coping. The show must go on and all that.’ Merlin replied; smiling though his teeth. Arthur walked over to him and punched him playfully on the arm. Merlin looked at him quizzically.  
‘It’s what people do to cheer people up. You know, playful banter?’  
‘Right then.’ Merlin said, laughing a little and punching Arthur back.  
‘Have you picked a song?’  
‘Nope.’  
‘Good start then. Well have a look at these and then we can pick one together.’ They looked through about ten songs, Merlin saying whether or not he liked them and Arthur telling him that he should like all of them because Arthur picked them until they finally settled on ‘Skinny love’ by Bon Iver.  
‘I still think it’s overdone.’ Merlin said.  
‘And I still think you can make it better.’ Arthur replied. Merlin didn’t argue, he was starting to warm to Arthur. As the practice went on they both smiled more, and there was a ripple of banter throughout the day. But every time Merlin sung it drifted away, everything did except Merlin and his song. Arthur could feel himself falling for the man in front of him, falling for his beautiful voice and messy hair and oversized ears. But Arthur put it aside; he pretended everything was normal because this just could not be happening.

When Merlin left the rehearsal he had a lot to think about, the song, the live show and Arthur. Merlin blushed a little when he thought of the way Arthur had looked at him, like a child clutching a shiny new toy. Like he, Merlin of all people, was special and magical. And Merlin had done his fair share of looking back, Arthur was gorgeous- everyone knew that- but it wasn’t just what he looked like, it was the way he spoke, his passion for everything. Music wasn’t just music to him, it was art and it was fantastic and the thought of it made Merlin’s heart flutter a little.

* * *

 

 

Merlin’s phone buzzed; it was 7 o’clock on Wednesday morning.  
‘Who the hell is texting me?’ He said aloud, as he picked up his phone from his bedside table.  
‘Coffee? AP’ Arthur: that’s who was texting him at 7 o’clock in the morning.  
‘Couldn’t you have waited an hour or two? I need my beauty sleep. ME’  
‘Beauty sleep? Seriously Merlin? Anyway I’ll meet you at the starbucks in Covent Garden at half 8? That gives you loads of time. AP’  
‘Fine. But don’t blame me if I’m grumpy. ME’ Merlin groaned then dragged himself out of bed. It was too early for him to properly consider why Arthur wanted to see him for coffee but he slipped on a t-shirt and jeans and walked to the tube station. The tube was packed with commuters.  
‘It’s better than tourists.’ He thought as he slid off the tube and into Covent Garden station. Once he had found his way up the escalators and into the light of day he checked his watch. 8:32 it said; he was late, only a little but still. It took him longer than he would have liked to find starbucks but he soon saw the line of paparazzi and teenagers hanging around it and went inside. Arthur had picked a table in the back corner out of site of the rest of the customers.  
‘Famous guys benefit,’ Arthur said gesturing to the table. Merlin smiled and sat down.  
‘What you drinking?’  
‘Strong coffee.’ Merlin replied and Arthur went to fetch it for him. ‘So,’ Merlin said clutching his coffee, ‘what on Earth possessed you to drag me out of bed at this ungodly hour.’  
‘I just thought we could have a chat. You know, like people do.’  
‘People do not chat at this hour do they?’ Merlin said.  
‘I wouldn’t know.’ Arthur replied. Merlin ignored his comment and took a large sip of his coffee. ‘How is the song going?’  
‘Pretty good I think, I think I’ve got the whole self pitying hipster thing going on.’ Arthur laughed. They carried on talking for a while, speaking about music, about each of their favourite bands and gigs they had been to and disasters Arthur had had on stage. Then they moved on to other topics, movies and books and then family.  
‘So I’m sure you know about my family,’ Arthur said, ‘what about yours?’  
‘I don’t know that much actually, I’m afraid to say I’m not one to keep up with gossip.’  
‘Well then, ‘Arthur sighed slightly, ‘my mother died when I was born and I was brought up by my father, Uther.’  
‘I’m sorry.’  
‘For what?’  
‘Your mother.’ Merlin said.  
‘Oh, ‘Arthur paused for a moment and then said, ‘it seemed like she was lovely, you know. I watch videos of her singing on YouTube sometimes.’ He spoke very quietly. ‘I sometimes feel so angry at her fans, that they got to meet her and know her and I’m her son and I didn’t.' Arthur paused. 'Sorry, I’ve, erm never said that to anyone before.’  
Merlin reached over and grabbed Arthur’s hand under the table and squeezed it. Arthur let himself be comforted and then pulled away.  
‘What about you?’ Arthur asked.  
‘My father left when I was 7, so it’s just been my mum and me since then in our little 2 up 2 down in Belfast.’  
‘Different life.’ Arthur said sadly. ‘Anyway enough of all this soppy rubbish- tell me about yourself, interesting stuff.’  
‘Erm, like what?’  
‘I don’t know, first kisses and big dreams and stuff.’  
‘My first kiss was when I was 14 with a girl called Kate. My second,’ Merlin looked at Arthur, ‘my second was with my only long term boyfriend, Jack, when I was 15.’ Merlin glanced at Arthur to see his reaction: he seemed indifferent. ‘What about you?’  
‘My first was when I was 17 with a guy named Callum. We dated for 4 years till the media got hold of it and I had to cover it up.’ Arthur said quickly. They both looked at each other.  
‘What about Gwen?’  
‘The media had dug up the picture again; she offered to play the part of girlfriend for a while.’  
‘Oh. So you’re?’ Merlin said awkwardly.  
‘Yeah: gay. But you can’t tell anyone, okay.’ Merlin nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

By the next Saturday Merlin’s crush on Arthur had grown considerably, but –no matter how big it was- the only thing Merlin could focus on by lunch time was that he had to sing again. On live TV. Rehearsals had gone well; that is, the time in them they actually got round to rehearsing in (which became less and less as the week progressed) had gone well. Merlin was confident that it would be fine, if he could sing like he had done in rehearsals and not have a break down on stage.  
Arthur paced up and down his dressing room, it was an hour to the show and he should have been with Merlin but he didn’t want to. He liked Merlin, in a way he really didn’t want to like someone, i.e. I want to fuck you against a wall and also buy you flowers and kiss your nose. He had told himself he wasn’t going to fall in love, that he would have anonymous one night stands with people he’d meet at expensive bars.  
 Arthur had nearly broken this rule before, he’d met people with big smiles and handsome faces but Merlin, Merlin was different. Merlin was passionate and scruffy and beautiful, Arthur knew he should stop thinking about him, try to make all this stuff in his head go away but he couldn’t. Every time Merlin smiled, or laughed or ran his hand through his mop of dark hair Arthur could feel himself falling further. But what really got him was when Merlin sang, his voice and his passion made him the most beautiful thing Arthur had ever known. Arthur told himself he was being stupid, that they’d only known each other a week and that it would all blow over.  
‘God I need a drink.’ Arthur said aloud, before glumly remembering he had to be on live TV in an hour and going to find Merlin instead.  
 

‘Hi.’ Arthur said when he reached Merlin's dressing room.  
‘You’re late.’ Merlin said, surprised.  
‘Yeah. Sorry about that. Are you ready?’  
‘I guess so, I’ve been beautified,’ Merlin said gesturing to the stage make up on his face.  
‘Indeed.’ Arthur said stared at his feet. They stood in an awkward silence for several minutes. Arthur being there had distracted Merlin from his performance and a question that had lingered in his head for a while came onto his lips.  
‘Are you single?’ Merlin blurted out into the silence.  
‘What? Yes. Of course.’ Arthur said. ‘Why?’  
‘Oh, erm, no reason. Just interested.’  
‘Well then, warm up?’  
‘Yeah.’ Merlin said.

* * *

  
‘Now, last week we had a shocking turn of events that left Merlin Emrys as the final contender in our line up after Arthur used his steal. So performing Skinny Love by Bon Iver and attempting to prove that Arthur didn’t make a terrible mistake is Merlin Emrys.’  
Merlin waited patiently on stage for the band to start playing. He smiled at Arthur, then the intro music began and he was in his own world. The song itself had little meaning to him personally but he could hear the emotion in it and he let himself create his own story and went with it. The whole thing seemed to over in seconds.  
Arthur smiled broadly and stood up, clapping and cheering for Merlin with all his worth. He’d done it. Merlin started blushing a little as the audience clapped and cheered his name. The rest was a bit of a blur: he answered the host questions with rambled sentences and attempted to listen to the judges but he couldn’t take it in. Arthur didn’t even say anything; he just gave him thumbs up and another round of applause. He virtually ran back into his dressing room and for the first time he felt like everything had been worth it.  
‘You wonderful bastard.’ Merlin whipped his head round to see Arthur stood beaming in the doorway. Merlin walked towards him and Arthur grabbed him into an embrace. Arthur smelt like sweat and expensive aftershave. Merlin laughed. ‘What?’ Arthur asked.  
‘This is crazy. Just completely and utterly crazy.’ Arthur looked at him; he was silent for a moment before nodding and saying;  
‘Yeah, it really is.’


	5. Chapter 5

After the euphoria of the success of the performance had calmed down Merlin felt guilt creeping into him. He felt like he shouldn’t be happy, his best friend was dead for god’s sake and he wasn’t in the competition for himself. That’s what he had told himself, he was in this for his mum wasn’t he?

‘Fuck this.’ Merlin said, slamming his guitar onto the floor and marching out of his flat. The night was cold and quiet, which surprised Merlin -he wasn’t used to a quiet London. It was eerie; there were no lost tourists or screaming children just the occasional murmur of a car engine on the road. He tried to sort his head out, but there was too much, and the thoughts just went round and round. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. Then he put it away. Who was he going to call? Who in hell would pick up the phone at 1am now? He thought about his mum; she’d pick up but he had no idea what time it was in America and she needed her sleep. She liked Will as well; she was listed as his next of kin for fucks sake.

Then Merlin paused, he got his phone out again and went into his contact list. His fingers faltered over Arthur’s name.

‘Hello?’ Merlin said quietly.

‘Merlin?’ Arthur replied.

‘Sorry I just,’ Merlin bit his lip, he could feel tears building up.

‘Hey what happened what’s wrong?’

‘I shouldn’t be doing this Arthur. I should have just got a job at a supermarket or something. My friend is dead and I’m frolicking on a TV show and my mum can’t even come to his funeral because I have no money because I’m selfish.’ Merlin started sobbing.

‘Where are you?’

‘Erm a few streets away from my apartment, Chester street?’

‘I’m coming.’

‘No Arthur its fine, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have,’ Arthur hung up. Merlin sat down on the pavement, the cold of it stinging his skin but he didn’t notice. ‘Fuck, shit, fuck.’ He continued whispering profanities under his breath until Arthur’s car appeared on the curb.

‘Hey.’ Arthur said softly offering Merlin a hand.

‘Hi.’ Merlin took it and stood up.

‘Come on.’ Merlin got into Arthur’s car and they sat silently till they reached Arthur’s house.

‘This is your house.’ Merlin said when they got there.

‘Very observational.’ Arthur said smiling.

‘It’s massive.’

‘Yup.’ Arthur locked the door behind them and led Merlin into a large, brightly lit living room. Everything in the room was white except for a few photographs on the wall and the brick of the fireplace. ‘Do you want a drink?’

‘I’m fine thanks.’

‘What’s going on Merlin?’ Arthur said.

‘You know.’

‘No I don’t Merlin. I mean I know your mums ill and I know that your friend is dead and that sucks but I don’t know what’s going on in your brain. Not a bit.’

‘I hated school, so I dropped out at sixteen and bought a guitar. I played in pubs and at open mic nights but I never got discovered. I was living on benefits. My mum met a guy from America and went over there with him. I felt like she’d given up on me but I think she was giving me space. She got cancer a year ago and the guy left her. She couldn’t work and she has no money. She’s gonna die Arthur. She’s gonna die if I can’t get money to pay for her treatment. And she can’t come to Wills funeral, she brought him up, his parents died when he was nine and we were brought up together. And here I am,’ Merlin said raising his voice, ‘here I am on some bullshit talent show trying to make it as a musician when I could be doing a proper job. With a pay check. I am not here for my mum. I’m here because I don’t care about anything but myself fucking hell I should just quit I don’t even deserve this.’ Merlin went silent then and Arthur didn’t say anything for a while.

‘I don’t think you’re selfish Merlin.’

‘Don’t lie Arthur.’

‘I think you’re human. This is your life as well Merlin; you have a right to do what you want with it. You don’t owe anyone anything. And you will pay for your mum’s care Merlin because you are going to make it because I won’t let it happen any differently.’ Merlin had stopped crying and looked at Arthur. ‘You know, however much Will disliked these shows I bet he realised how much you wanted this. Because you do want this and you’re good at this and it would be a terrible shame for you to be doing anything else.’ Arthur really wanted to kiss Merlin then, but it was the wrong time and it would make things too complicated anyway. So he gestured for Merlin to hug him instead and they embraced, both of them holding them on tightly till the moment ended.

‘Did I wake you up?’ Merlin asked a few minutes later.

‘No I was up.’

‘Oh.’ Merlin decided this was a conversation for another time, and he could tell Arthur agreed.

‘Let’s gets some sleep. There’s spare rooms upstairs take your pick.’

‘Thanks for, you know, all this.’

‘Anytime Merlin.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long but it's here now. My beta is away so I apologise in advance for any mistakes.

Merlin woke up, he was confused for a few seconds until he worked out where he was and then he looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was half eleven, Merlin stretched and stood up, slipping his phone back in his pocket and pulling on his jeans. He managed to find the living room again after wandering through a few rooms. There was a note on the coffee table. ‘Gone to meeting, there is food in the fridge. Please use check for mum’s flight.’ Merlin looked at the letter and then at the check which had been underneath it. It was for £5000. Merlin got out his phone and text Arthur.

_‘I can’t take that check Arthur. ME’_

_‘It isn’t for you it’s for your mum. AP’_ Arthur had him there, Merlin knew that and Arthur probably did too. Merlin called his mum.

‘Merlin? Are you okay?’ Hunith said groggily. Merlin had forgotten that it would be a different time in America.

‘Sorry yeah I’m fine what time is it over there?’

‘Half 6 in the morning.’

‘Aaah sorry. But I have news.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘Arthur gave me a check to pay for your flights so you can come over for the funeral.’ Merlin said, quickly before he could decide against it.

‘Merlin you can’t take that. I’m fine.’ Merlin could hear Hunith’s voice breaking on the other side.

‘Think of it as a loan, one day I might be able to pay him back.’

‘Fine. Gosh £5000 is a lot. Does that mean I can go first class? I wonder if I’ll get champagne. I can stay in a fancy hotel as well. Do you think it’s enough for The Ritz?’

‘What happened to no charity?’

‘It’s not charity it’s a loan. How did you convince him to do that anyway?' Hunith asked.

‘I didn’t convince him to do anything.’ Merlin said quietly.

‘Well you must have done something.’

‘Nope. Nothing out of the ordinary.’

‘Merlin I can tell when you’re lying.’ Hunith said.

‘I may have cried a bit.’

‘You’re okay now though right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I think he likes you.’

‘Of course he likes me.’ Merlin replied, even though he understood exactly what Hunith was trying to imply.

‘I mean in terms of he wants go date you.’

‘He’s not gay.’ Merlin said. Merlin wasn’t sure why he was lying; he had no reason to defend himself. Because he didn’t like Arthur _in that way_ , and Arthur didn’t _like_ him either. Right?

‘As I said before I can tell when you’re lying. Also,’ Merlin could visualise the smirk as Hunith paused, ‘how do you know that he’s gay I thought you just sang with him.’

‘We have coffee sometimes.’

‘Oh. Right. Coffee.’ Merlin could almost see Hunith raising her eyebrows at him.

‘Anyway I’ll let you go back to sleep now.’

‘Yeah, thanks.’

Merlin put the phone down and smiled. Then his phone buzzed.

‘ _Are you dressed?_ _AP’_

 _‘Of course I am. ME’_ Merlin didn't think anything of the text and was making breakfast when his phone buzzed again _._

 _‘If you want to borrow clothes there’s some in the spare room that will probably fit you, just, there will be paparazzi. I’ll be back_ in _half an hour. AP’_

Merlin looked quizzically at the text; generally a few photographers were to be expected- especially if they were anywhere other than the studio- but Arthur seemed to be expecting lots.

_‘What’s going on? ME’_

_‘I’ll explain when I get back. AP’_

Merlin almost went to look online, and then decided he should hear whatever it was from Arthur first. Merlin went up to the spare room and changed into a clean shirt.

* * *

 

 

**10 minutes earlier**

Arthur looked blankly at his manager, he felt his heart start to beat hard against his chest, he couldn’t breathe, he gasped at the air but couldn’t catch any. His vision started to blur,

‘Arthur! Arthur can you hear me? Arthur!’ The manager shouted. The room started spinning, and then everything went black. When Arthur came round his manger handed him a glass of water.

‘What happened?’ Arthur asked.

‘You just had an extreme anxiety attack.’

‘Why?’

‘Don’t you remember Arthur?’ Arthur didn’t speak. ‘You blacked out because I told you’re father is dead. He had a heart attack.’

‘Yes. Okay. Fine.’ Arthur breathed in and out slowly, counting down from a hundred. Then he stood up and picked up his phone and sent a few people texts. ‘Do the press know?’

‘Yes, his maid told the press right after it happened.’

‘I need a car, make sure there’s no one in the studio and call the TV people and tell them this will have no change on my contract.’

‘Yes sir.’

Arthur slipped his leather jacket on and walked out of the meeting room. His car was in front of the building, his driver in the driving seat.

‘I can drive.’ Arthur said.

‘Are you sure sir?’

‘Yes, you may go.’ Arthur said.

‘I just like to say, I’m erm, sorry for your loss. He was a great man.’ How quickly people switched to past tense made Arthur shiver, the idea that someone was no longer great or important- they just used to be.

‘Thank you Graham.’ Arthur got in the car and slammed the car door behind him. He was vaguely aware of the gathering of paparazzi beginning to crowd him, and got his phone out to pre warn Merlin. Then he turned the key in the exhaust and drove away from the meeting room. He didn’t go straight home, instead he drove out of London, onto a motorway and drove down it for a while, as fast as speed limits would allow before turning off at a junction and heading back to Merlin. While he drove he didn’t cry, he didn’t even think. He just drove. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is sort and cheesy but whatever. Hope you enjoy :)

Merlin’s phone rang, he picked it up.

‘I’m outside.’ Arthur said.

‘I’ll come open the door, the key’s in the latch right?’ Merlin replied, confused as to why Arthur had rung him instead of just knocking.

‘Yeah, just don’t let them see you when you open it.’

‘Right yeah okay.’ Merlin opened the door, standing carefully behind it as he did so he wasn’t seen. Arthur shut it behind him.

‘Hi.’ Merlin said.

‘Uther’s dead.’ Arthur said simply, and then the strength he thought he had built up on the car journey, crashed around him and he collapsed onto Merlin’s chest, soft quiet tears rolling out of his eyes and dampening Merlin’s borrowed t-shirt. Merlin didn’t say anything, he knew grief, he knew there was nothing he could say- not now, he pulled Arthur tight into his arms and held him. ‘Merlin I’m Sorry I erm,’

‘Shush Arthur it’s okay.’ Merlin said softly, interrupting him. They broke apart then, Merlin looked at Arthur, his hair messy, his eyes puffy and wet from crying and he couldn’t help but think he looked so beautiful, because he’d seen through Arthur’s armour as Arthur had seen through his.

Arthur felt like his body was going to explode it was so filled with emotion, not just for Uther, for everything that had happened, and for Merlin. Merlin, right there in front of him, so honest and kind and beautiful, not handsome or fit, but beautiful, every freckle and hair and awkwardly placed limb, it just fitted, and Arthur knew then that what he was feeling, on top of everything else, was love. And that hurt more than anything he had ever known before, he could not have Merlin, and Merlin would not what such damaged goods.

‘You want to go to the studio?’ Arthur asked, Merlin nodded. They left through the back door and got in separate cars. Arthur never told Merlin why, but Merlin knew, they didn’t need those rumours right now. Or ever, because Merlin also knew that if Arthur was ever going to fall in love, with anyone let alone Merlin, he was going to have to deal with the media, and the rejection and the hate. But for now they would travel in different directions, and go different routes, so that no one put two and two together, even if it wasn’t true.

When Merlin got out of his car at the studio he was swamped by the press, they shouted his name and flashed cameras in his face. ‘Hey have you spoken to Arthur?’

‘Did he cry?’

‘Is this the end of your career?’

‘Who killed Uther?’ Everything from the obvious to the completely ridiculous, Merlin hadn’t planned on saying anything, but then he realised Arthur would have to go through this when he arrived.

‘Arthur has just had some awful news, and he is dealing with this in his own way, however I think we need to all think of how we would feel if we lost someone close to us. And then how we would feel if whilst we tried to deal with our grief we were swamped with strangers trying to get a good story. I hope you can appreciate that no one should have to deal with this,’ Merlin gestured around him, ‘and that you would all be respectful enough to leave.’ Slowly the photographers left one by one until just two were left. Merlin almost left, till one of the photographers flashed his camera and Merlin turned around.

‘Obvious you don’t know what it’s like to lose someone,’ Merlin stared directly at them, ‘well I don’t know what it’s like to lose a father, because I never had one. But I know what it’s like to lose a friend, a boy I grew up with from when I was just a little kid. It’s like someone has taken a knife, and cut you open, and pulled out a chunk of your heart, and then stomped on it. I you know you’re never, ever going to get that back, and you can never, ever, fill that hole. And sometimes you wake up, and for a beautiful wonderful moment you forget they’re gone and you make plans of all the things you’re going to do. And then it hits you like a ton of bricks, they’re gone, irreversibly, you’re never going to her them speak, laugh, sing ever again. And on those nights when you feel like shit and you just need to talk to them, they’re not there to pick up the phone and you have to find someone else, and patch up the wound they left behind however you can. And it’s not fair, it’s so unfair. So stay here, take your pictures, harass him, so you can get a story and your readers can speculate on his life. Well fuck you, fuck you.’

Merlin turned away and stormed into the building, he was angry and he screamed when he got into the studio. And sat fuming until Arthur arrived.

‘Hi, erm what happened to all the press?’

‘I told them to leave.’ Merlin said sternly. Arthur nodded and then got into the music, playing song after song, anything they wanted, for hours and hours.  And it took a while but eventually they were both smiling, and they knew it wasn’t going to last but right then they were happy, and that’s what mattered. 


	8. Chapter 8

‘Hello and welcome to The Contest! Tonight the competition heats up with each contestant performing two songs, and two leaving ready for the quarter finals next week. Let’s introduce our judges,’ the crowd cheered loudly and the four judges walked on, smiling and waving.

 

Merlin shuffled nervously back stage; the idea of this week’s show was that one of the songs was a surprise to their judge and picking a song had be nigh on impossible. People probably expected him to sing about Will, they knew now from the videos they played before each act performed, but they never really had a song and he didn’t want to sing something soppy. In the end he decided on ‘I get by with a little help from my friends.’ but he’d mixed about with it to make it fit his feelings better- he just hoped he could get through it without breaking down. They’d told him he could say a few words before he performed, and he hadn’t wanted to at first but decided that he should to be polite, and then found he actually wanted to.

 

‘As you know I erm, I lost a good friend of mine two weeks ago. We were, um, very close and he was a great guy.’ Merlin paused and laughed, ‘god he would take the piss out of me for this. But yeah this song's for him, and also for a new friend I’ve made recently.’ Merlin smiled at Arthur who smiled back.

 

Merlin thought he was doing pretty well, until he got the last chorus and he could feel himself starting to break, but he pushed through and managed to get to the end of the song. It was only then he realised that Arthur was crying, Merlin walked past the presenter and went over to him and Arthur pulled him into a hug; no one stopped them. ‘That was beautiful Merlin.’ Arthur whispered into his ears before they separated and then the show went on as normal. Merlin had an hour before he performed his next song so he had a while to collect himself. He wished he had chosen something more upbeat for his second song.

 

When he finished singing ‘The girl with the red balloon’ (by the civil wars) he was in such a state of relief he didn’t notice his second standing ovation of the night, or more people crying (why were they crying?). He did however notice that Arthur had been staring right at him the whole time he was on stage, not in an ‘I’m watching you perform’ sort of way but more in an ‘I want to rip your clothes off’ sort of way. He told himself he was imagining it.

 

Gwen came in after the show, smiling brightly. ‘Hey.’ She said.

‘Hi.’ Merlin replied.

‘How are you?’

‘You know, coping.’

‘You were brilliant tonight.’

‘Thanks.’

‘So,’ Gwen paused awkwardly. ‘You and Arthur?’

‘What do you mean me and Arthur?’

‘Are you, y’know?’ Gwen flailed her hands to further explain her statement.

‘No we are not, y’know.’ Merlin mocked the hand gestures Gwen had made a few seconds ago.

‘You sure?’

‘Gwen I think I’d notice.’

‘You have a point. Do you like him?’

‘How do you know I’m gay?’

‘Merlin I have seen the way you look at him, and the way you never look at girls, ever. So do you like him?’

‘I erm, I don’t know.’

‘He likes you.’

‘No he doesn’t.’

‘Oh come off it he looked like he was going to ravish you right there on stage earlier.’ Merlin blushed. ‘Well good look tempting him out of the closet is all I can say.’ Gwen smiled again and left.

Merlin packed up his things and got into a cab. He knew he wouldn’t see Arthur- who had agreed to do interviews in exchange for the press leaving him alone for a week or two.

 

The next morning came far too quickly for Merlin’s liking; he’d been dreading the funeral, although he was looking forward to seeing his mother. He got into a cab and met his mother at the airport; she had copious amounts of bags and was sat in her wheel chair (which was decorated with swirling paint- Hunith loved to paint). She smiled gently at Merlin when she saw him and wheeled herself towards him, the assistant from the airport dragging her bags behind her. Merlin hugged his mother and then took the bags.

 

‘Mum.’ Merlin said affectionately.

‘Merlin, gosh you’re still thin, you need feeding up.’

‘Mum I’ve been thin since I was 4 years old.’

‘Hmmmm.’ they got back into the cab, deep in conversation about anything and everything. Hunith was indeed staying at the Ritz (in their cheapest room- which was still £1000 a night) and they left the bags to be unpacked by the butler (yes, the butler) and headed to the funeral.

 

The car journey was the first time Hunith had been silent for such a prolonged period for as long as Merlin could remember. It made him uncomfortable, so he watched the streets of London flicker past the window, a combination of lost tourists and determined business people clutching coffee and newspapers. Street artists begged for attention on the corners of streets and a strange mix of exceedingly fancy boutiques sat next to tiny, slightly run down newsagents. People poured through London, following sets of distinct routes, to law firms and office buildings and the other way to the big museums, that take in and let out people like a beating heart all over the city and yet you could turn down a side street- and find it populated only by rubbish and cigarette stubs. Merlin loved it, the aggressive contrasts, the way you could just dissolve, the ease of moving from place to place. He loved that if you wanted to you could make everyone notice you, but as soon as you wanted to disappear again you just put down your guitar and slipped back into the crowd. Everyone was welcome because no one had time to tell them otherwise. But right then Merlin resented it, he resent the smiling happy people, the rush and the haste, like everyone didn’t know that Merlin was going to his best friend’s funeral- which they didn’t but it felt like they should. Merlin wanted everyone to know because the emotion was overwhelming every inch of him, exploding like it never had before. He sighed and continued to stare as London carried on regardless.

Merlin hadn’t wanted the funeral to be in a church, but Hunith had reminded him that Will- despite appearances- was Christian and so Merlin found a pretty church on the edge of the city. Will would be buried here, Merlin again had followed Will’s wishes, he had always told Merlin that if he ever had to bury him that he should make sure he was far away from ‘this fucking drab as hell place’ (otherwise known as Ealdor, their home town).

 

The church was already pretty full by the time Merlin arrived and took his seat on the front row; the coffin lay on the altar at the front of the church. Merlin felt slow tears dribble down his face when he saw it, the coffin. It made it all even more real than it had been: that he really would never seen Will again. Hunith squeezed his hand, she was also crying, her eyes already red.

 

Merlin had decided he wouldn’t speak till the end of the funeral, but Hunith opened the ceremony. She spoke lovingly of him; of the great man he was and would have been, of what he had been like as a child and what he had meant to Hunith. Just as Hunith was finishing Merlin saw someone enter the church in the corner of his eye. He turned round; Arthur had taken a seat on the back row. Merlin internally thanked him for being there but staying away from Merlin. He understood that Merlin needed to be with his mum now. The ceremony carried on, people laughed and cried and eventually it was Merlin’s turn.

 

‘I, um, wrote a song.

_My god Will, I can’t believe_

_That you’re gone,_

_You’d say I shouldn’t dwell on_

_You but_

_I can’t believe I’m never gonna_

_Hear you pucking in the bathroom_

_After one too many at the pub_

_I remember that day in the classroom_

_When we started a food fight_

_I also thought I’d have another chance_

_To tease you for your terrible dance_

_At the sixth form prom_

_My god, Will, I can’t believe_

_That you’re gone_

_I’d give anything I own_

_To hear your plans for world peace_

_Hear you rant about reality shows_

_And I’d give everything_

_To be your best man_

_You’d tell me to get over it_

_But I don’t think I can._

_And I was never, a religious man_

_But I sure hope you’re in a better place_

_Oh god Will, I can’t believe_

_You’re gone.’_

Merlin wasn’t particularly proud of it, but singing gave him a focus and an ability to get through what he wanted to say better than anything else. He looked out across the audience, a lot of people were crying, most of them had been the whole time, some had their eyes closed, some wore dark blank expressions. Merlin went to help Hunith out as they were ushered outside to the grave. The coffin was lowered into the ground and landed with a gentle thud. People lined up to toss dirt on top of it. Merlin let the dirt flow through the gaps in his parted fingers and pattered onto the wooden lid of the coffin. That was it. That was all the closure Merlin was ever going to get. He moved aside and walked around the back of the church, away from the rest of the people.

 

‘Hi.’ Merlin looked up, Arthur stared back at him, it was only now Merlin noticed how red Arthur’s eyes were, and the dark circles beneath them

‘Hi. Wait wasn’t Uther’s funeral today?’ Arthur nodded.

‘The church finished in enough time for me to get here, they’re having lunch and a booze up now. I didn’t really fancy it.’

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there.’ Merlin said.

‘You needed to be here.’ Arthur said, he spoke quietly, scared that if he spoke louder he would break into sobs.

‘You okay? You look kind of rough.’

‘I could say the same about you.’ Merlin decided not to press the matter.

‘It makes you think, all this.’ He said instead.

‘Think what?’

‘You know what they say, you only live once, and it’s true. Will wanted to do so much more than he ever got the chance to. ‘

‘Merlin, I think this might be the wrong time, but after you said that well, I erm. I don’t know how to say this but erm,’ Arthur never got to finish his sentence; Merlin pressed a small kiss to his lips. Arthur froze, and stared at Merlin. Then he pulled Merlin towards him and kissed him back, Merlin felt himself melt into the kiss, it felt so right. Their hands interlocked against Merlin's side, Arthur's soft lips pressed against Merlin’s, Arthur’s tongue tentatively reaching into Merlin’s mouth. The kiss said everything both of them couldn’t say, the crushing weight of emotions both of them had been carrying depleted and eventually it was just a kiss, a kiss better than Merlin could ever remember having. They sighed out of it; Arthur smiled at Merlin and then abruptly frowned and left.

‘Arthur!’ Merlin called after him. ‘Arthur, what the hell?’ 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken awhile. Hope it was worth it. (Can you tell I really like London?)


	9. Chapter 9

‘Arthur? Are you okay?’ Gwen asked as she opened the door, Arthur stared back at her.

‘I’ve done something stupid Gwen.’ 

‘Go sit down, I’ll make some tea.’ Arthur felt like an idiot, he shouldn’t have kissed Merlin and he shouldn’t have kissed him then. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to want to take it back, to erase it from his mind, because it felt so right, it didn’t fix anything, hell it broke as much as it fixed but it made him feel like those things would be okay, and new things would break and he would fix them too because he wouldn’t be on his own . But he had ignored his texts and his calls. He’d shut merlin off, cut him off from himself, this couldn’t happen.

‘Right then,’ Gwen said as she set down two mugs of tea, ‘what have you done?’

‘Merlin kissed me. And I kissed him back.’ Arthur said.

‘I’m not seeing the problem here.’ Gwen said. 

‘I left right after, when he was at wills funeral, and I haven’t spoken to him since.’

‘You’re an idiot Arthur? You know that? You’re an idiot.’ 

‘But I can’t do this Gwen I can’t be with Merlin.’

‘Why Arthur?’

‘You know why.’ Arthur said, his eyes stung slightly, he hadn’t realised he was crying until he was.

‘Do you want to be with him? If you forgot all of this, if you were some unknown failing singer, and merlin kissed you would you stay with him?’

‘Of course I would, but I am not we’re not. It doesn’t matter because that’s not the point,’

‘Arthur that is the point! God you infuriate me,’ Gwen paused and then spoke more softly, ‘you need to talk to him Arthur, and you need to work this out.’ 

‘But,’

‘No stop, just stop. Stand up and go get in the car’ Arthur begrudgingly did as Gwen asked and followed Gwen out of the house to her car. Arthur stared at it like it had committed a heinous crime ‘Get in.’  Gwen repeated.

‘Where are we going?’ Arthur said after a while.

‘We are going to the florist and then we are going to Merlin’s house and you are going to hope he forgives you and you are going to sort yourself out because I’m sick of you two giving each other puppy eyes all the time.’ Arthur didn’t dare argue. They drove in silence until eventually Gwen started to laugh and Arthur couldn’t help but join in, and he wasn’t really sure why he laughing but it suddenly all seemed ridiculous; a part of him still wanted to cry but he didn't.

He arrived at Merlin in a relatively good mood, but as soon as he saw the door he tensed up. Gwen stood at the end of the drive to prevent him running in the other direction, which is just what he wanted to do. 

‘Arthur?’ Merlin stared, Arthur was pretty much the last person he expected to be standing in front of him. 

‘Hi, I um,’ Arthur handed Merlin the bouquet of roses he had bought. ‘Flowers.’  

‘Arthur I don’t understand.’

‘Neither do I Merlin.’ Arthur said and then he reached for Merlin and planted a very light kiss on his lips.  And he wanted to do more, he wanted to hold merlin and kiss him and put everything he felt and had ever felt into it, but he didn’t. 

‘Come in.’ Merlin said, leading Arthur inside. ‘Why are you here?’ Merlin said, his voice was harsher than he had planned it to be, and he smiled afterwards in an attempt to soften it. Merlin had told himself that he had ruined everything, that Arthur was going to get him kicked off the show, and it was all going to end, but here Arthur was. With roses. 

‘Because I went to Gwen, and I told her and she told me I was an idiot.’

‘Anything more specific, I know you’re an idiot.’ Merlin said smiling.

‘Can I just kiss you?’  Arthur said, smiling for the first time.

‘Hmm okay then.’ Merlin said, they both smiled and Arthur grabbed hold of him, and pulled him into his arms, and he didn’t kiss him straight away, he held their bodies so close that they melted into each other, Merlin let his head rest on Arthur’s shoulder, he felt safe like nothing could ever reach him, and he felt that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, but stronger than he ever had before. And when Arthur kissed him, merlin felt himself falling for Arthur all over again.

‘I’m in love with you. ‘Arthur said. And then a few seconds later he added, ‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘Arthur. Look at me,’ Merlin took Arthur’s hands in his, ‘I love you, we can do this Arthur, it’s going to be okay.’ And Arthur  let himself cry, he wasn’t sure whether they were happy or sad tears. They just were.

Arthur didn’t sleep with Merlin that night, he went home some time before midnight, and Merlin knew why, Merlin knew they'd’d both agreed to it but he still reached out his hand to the empty side of the bed, and he still imagined what it would be like to have Arthur their. The heat on his body, the breathe on his neck, not fucking just sleeping, together. 

Arthur wasn’t sure what was going to happen between him and Merlin, wasn’t sure if he wanted a public outing, wasn’t sure if Merlin would, wasn’t sure if the show runners would let him. All he knew was that he was obsessed with Merlin, it was like an addiction, they’d agreed they’d have the Tuesday off to work things out, and then be back in rehearsals on Wednesday. Arthur spent Tuesday burning holes in the floor of the living room with his pacing, he felt a like a lovesick teenager, he tried calling Gwen but Gwen just laughed at him and told him to call Merlin.  And he was determined not too. 

Merlin also spent the day playing lovesick teenager, but more productively. He wrote about 3 songs, furiously playing his guitar till he had to stop because his fingers hurt too much,  and he kept running his fingers of the button on his phone that would call Arthur. 

Arthur rang the show runners and told them he wanted to change the song he was going to sing that week for the show opening, the whinged a little but didn’t mind. 

Merlin’s phone was hot in his hand.

Arthur flipped his phone from hand to hand.

‘Hi.’ The both said at once, Arthur had called first, merlin picked up on the first ring.

‘Sorry I couldn’t not call.’ Arthur said.

‘I’ve been trying not too for the last hour.’

‘Can we go to the studio?’

‘Definitely.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've abandoned this for so long! But it's back now!


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